For those of you that do not know about American Dad! It is a satirical American animated series produced by Underdog Productions and Fuzzy Door Productions for 20th Century Fox Television and created by Seth MacFarlane, the creator of Family Guy, as well as two former Family Guy writers, Mike Barker and Matt Weitzman. The pilot episode aired in the United States on Fox on February 6, 2005, thirty minutes after the end of Super Bowl XXXIX. American Dad follows the events of CIA agent Stan Smith and his family.

1. Optimist Drowns in Half-Full Tub – Season 1 - "Stan Knows Best"

2. Hooker Killed For Heart of Gold – Season 1 - "Francine's Flashback"

3. Economy Turns Corner, Falls Down Stairs – Season 1 - "Roger Codger"

4. Israel Pulls Out of Gaza, Gaza Not Pregnant – Season 1 - "A Smith In The Hand"

5. Clever Bumper Sticker Ends Abortion Debate – Season 1 - "Not Particularly Desperate Housewife"

6. Britney Spears' Baby To Enter Pre-Hab – Season 1 - "Rough Trade"

7. Jewish Gynecologist develops Pap Schmear – Season 2 - "The American Dad After School Special"

8. Despondent Pluto drowns two of its moons – Season 2 - "Failure is not a Factory-Installed Option"

9. Trans Fats Banned In NYC, Fat Trannies Still OK – Season 2 - "Irregarding Steve"

10. Childhood obesity up, pedophilia down – Season 2 - "Four Little Words

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1. An amateur built the ark and a team of engineers built the Titanic. That basically sums up why I don't trust Microsoft products.
2. Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows.
3. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
4. Flash is a program built for and by retarded cats
5. "I invented it, Bill made it famous."
   David Bradley (wrote the code for Ctrl-Alt-Delete on the IBM PC)
6. "Coding styles are like assholes, everyone has one and no one likes anyone elses."
   Eric Warmenhoven
7. "Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it."
   Brian W. Kernighan
8. "Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing."
   Dick Brandon
9. "Memory is like an orgasm. It's a lot better if you don't have to fake it."
   Seymore Cray (on virtual memory)
10. "Software Engineering is that part of Computer Science which is too difficult for the Computer Scientist."
    F. L. Bauer
11. "The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents."
    Nathaniel Borenstein
12. "The ultimate metric that I would like to propose for user friendliness is quite simple: if this system was a person, how long would it take before you punched it in the nose?"
    Tom Carey
13. "Writing in C or C++ is like running a chain saw with all the safety guards removed."
    Bob Gray

Other funny programming quotes and thoughts

Funny programming Tshirts

Related Reading:

Help! I'm Laughing and I Can't Get Up: Fall-down Funny Stories to Fill Your Heart and Lift Your Spirits

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The Funny Thing Is...