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Categorized | Manliness

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19 Things a Man Should Never Do

Posted on 05 August 2008 by admin

stock.xchng - Stumble and Fall (stock photo by bjearwicke)


It's pretty clear, us guys get away with a ton of crap. We can sit on a couch, sans t-shirt, drinking a beer, yelling incessantly at a football game, and it's considered "normal." We can usually walk up to a tree, drop trough, and urinate without a second notice. But, there are definitely things we as men should avoid. Here 19 things all men should put on their "To-Don't" list.

#1. Check your BlackBerry in bed.
To a woman, that's like having a threesome with your boss.

#2. Ask for a kiss.
Her eyes will say yes or no, and nothing kills the mood like asking for a translation.

#3. Wear low-rise jeans.
So what if David Beckham flashes his hash in every other men's magazine? It's important to have some sack, not show it.

#4. Mess with another man's automobile.
I don't care if he stole your wife, your job, and your dog. It's blashemy.

#5. Send an angry e-mail.
Have the huevos to pick up the phone or, better yet, meet face-to-face. Fireworks aren't just for Independence Day.

#6. Dismiss a woman who shows any interest in watching baseball with you.
She wants you bad.

#7. Snoop through her e-mail, closets, or medicine chest.
There's probably nothing there you need to worry about. But rest assured, you'll find something you don't want to see.

#8. Keep a home-run ball hit by the opposing team.
Or one hit by any player on the juice. I don't care if it's worth millions. Throw it back or you're a traitor.

#9. Forget an undershirt.
Go ahead, let 'em see you sweat. Just don't let 'em see sweat creeping out from your underarms like dark, foreboding tunnels to your moistened soul.

#10. Four words: inner-thigh adductor machine.
It might be a tough-to-reach muscle group, but there's never been a better way to strain your self-esteem.

#11. Talk politics or religion with new friends.
And if you consider sports one of the two, leave that off the table as well.

#12. Talk salary.
The more you make, the easier it is to cheapen your image.

#13. Have that extra drink.
You know, the one that takes you from hilarious to hyena. Always respect your tipping point.

#14. DIY plumbing.
You think it looks easy. Then your house falls down. Water, like Hulk Hogan's wife, is not to be flirted with.

#15. Leer.
Sure, her buttons are quivering to rein in her pendulous bosoms. Sure, it looks "cold in here." And sure, each giggle causes her chest to sway suggestively. But "pervert" isn't a label you can just peel off.

#16. Argue with a cop.
You were caught. Own up. Accept defeat. The only thing you win in that battle is a humid cell and a roommate nicknamed Stabby.

#17. Hang anything - your cellphone, your keys - on your belt.
You'll never get laid again. True story.

#18. Pluck your brows.
It's okay to groom. It's okay to like a woman who grooms. It's not okay to groom like a woman.

#19. Go tanning.
Forget skin cancer. Being trapped between heating elements is for cheese.

Did I miss a "To-Don't" that should be added to this list? I'm sure there are more, and if you know any, leave them in the comments!

Related Reading:

Bigger Damner Book of Sheer ManlinessBigger Damner Book of Sheer Manliness
ManlinessManliness
The Alphabet Of Manliness (revised)The Alphabet Of Manliness (revised)

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  • Kristopher
    men should never talk about their feelings....
    i really should do this......
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  • Rachel
    Asking for a kiss is not a turn off. Communication in bed is a good thing. It never hurts to be sure, especially if you don't know each other very well.
  • BINAURAL BEAT
    I agree! :)
  • WOMEN TOYS
    true! :))
  • Acai
    Will be sending this to my old roommate.
    Especially #3!!
  • timada
    I make my own custom t shirts and often create crazy designs that my girlfriend hates to see me in so I wear them secretly. So that’s one that high up on my own list. Oh and of course accidentally farting in the bedroom should be on this list as well.
  • Abby
    Someone said it is ok to use some of these once in a while, only if you use the word "skinny" in front of it, since once you call a woman skinny, she doesn't hear what else you are saying because she is focused on the fact that you just called her skinny.
    tratament acnee
  • Fotobuch
    Some excellent tips!
  • Spider Veins
    You're right. One should never talk about salary. Man should be work horses.
  • nintendo
    Hi, I really need to talk to you, it's important. One person's importance is another person's triviality.
  • Dead Sea Scrolls Exhibition
    Nice quote on David Beckham. However, I don't know why the heck he married Victoria. He's got a fetish for silicone? I think he's probably influenced by Pamela Anderson.
  • Costello
    There are supposed not to do and men often are being caught doing them. Nice list and explanation mate.
  • bob
    #17, not true.
  • Mike_Prefabricated_Structures
    I think that is so true. Anyways, what you think is wrong in that.
  • Looking for a roommate
    Will be sending this to my old roommate.
    Especially #3!!

    Pull up your pants you guys!
  • Lane
    Add: wear your bluetooth ear piece when it's not in use. None of my friends are such tools as to do this (obvious correlation), but I'm waiting for the day I get a chance to call someone out for this.
  • Office Space in Miami
    HAHA! I have caught my b.f checking his blackberry in bed
  • Steve
    I must admit I have been guilty of a few of these, but I am better now. :)
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