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Tags | , programmers, , software engineers

13 Geek-y Programmer Quotables

Posted on 26 August 2008 by admin

  1. An amateur built the ark and a team of engineers built the Titanic. That basically sums up why I don't trust Microsoft products.
  2. Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows.
  3. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
  4. Flash is a program built for and by retarded cats
  5. "I invented it, Bill made it famous."
    David Bradley (wrote the code for Ctrl-Alt-Delete on the IBM PC)
  6. "Coding styles are like assholes, everyone has one and no one likes anyone elses."
    Eric Warmenhoven
  7. "Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it."
    Brian W. Kernighan
  8. "Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing."
    Dick Brandon
  9. "Memory is like an orgasm. It's a lot better if you don't have to fake it."
    Seymore Cray (on virtual memory)
  10. "Software Engineering is that part of Computer Science which is too difficult for the Computer Scientist."
    F. L. Bauer
  11. "The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents."
    Nathaniel Borenstein
  12. "The ultimate metric that I would like to propose for user friendliness is quite simple: if this system was a person, how long would it take before you punched it in the nose?"
    Tom Carey
  13. "Writing in C or C++ is like running a chain saw with all the safety guards removed."
    Bob Gray

Other funny programming quotes and thoughts

Funny programming Tshirts

Related Reading:

Phillips' Book of Great Thoughts & Funny Sayings: A Stupendous Collection of Quotes, Quips, Epigrams, Witticisms, and Humorous Comments. For Personal Enjoyment and Ready Reference.Phillips' Book of Great Thoughts & Funny Sayings: A Stupendous Collection of Quotes, Quips, Epigrams, Witticisms, and Humorous Comments. For Personal Enjoyment and Ready Reference.
SideSplitters Fantastically Funny StoriesSideSplitters Fantastically Funny Stories
The Comic Toolbox: How to Be Funny Even If You're NotThe Comic Toolbox: How to Be Funny Even If You're Not

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    I love number 8..LOL
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    documentation part is funny.
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  • Asian makeup
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    Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.” - I have to agree with this one...lol
  • ThurstanRex
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  • Online Sex Shop
    Documentation is like sex when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.
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    "Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows. "
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  • Hotel Consultants
    This is really interesting. Didn't know there's so much knowledge into all these.
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    I agree, memory is like orgasm. Too many people are faking their intelligence just like the beauty pageants. Why can't they just be a Hooters girl?
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    Interesting quotes but I am skeptical of things that end in 13. C++ is dead.
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    Failure is not an option but is highly likely ! "failure is not an option" has got to be my favorite also.
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    Just tell me if you add this quotes. Thanks, it's Great... hahaha.
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    -The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
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  • Ben
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    Hope windows 7 will be better.
  • HotelBooker
    These are very geeky quotes :)
  • Peter
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  • Sindrome do Panico
    Failure is not an option but is highly likely ! "failure is not an option" has got to be my favorite.
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    the best is: Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows
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    i like this:
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    Failure is not an option but is highly likely ! "failure is not an option" has got to be my favorite.
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  • transformation
    Point number 10 makes those who studied Computer Science looks bad.
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    i found this funny. the second point.
    # Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows.
  • Back Pain
    One thing I agree on is quote 6. No one programmer codes the same. Most have really bad habits.
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    There are many cases where one invented it and the other made it famous. Programmers are by default a creature with technical expertises. This is why they need business-minded people to bring their products to the next level.
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    I think guys all thinks like that.
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    Let me share mine.

    How do you tell an extrovert engineer from an introvert? An extrovert engineer will look at your shoes when he talks to you.
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    I remember the previous IBM Chief Executive used to said in the 60s that the world only had space for 4 computers. He was referring to main frames. How wrong was he. Just heard IBM might be retrenching soon.
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    Wonderful quotes from Calamity Jane.

    This is my personal favorite.
    # “Memory is like an orgasm. It’s a lot better if you don’t have to fake it.”
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    Haha, totally great quote mate
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    This is not bad either.

    “Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.”
  • Aloe Vera
    There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who do not
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    "Some of the things that we ask software developers to do are equivalent to asking a metallurgist to build a motor car", Bob Bridges
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    "There are two types of programmers in the world: those who believe it is possible to write a program which works first time and those who don't" Scott W Sloan
  • Tim O'Reilly
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