Inspiration – Top 20 Facebook Status Updates

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Categorized | , Featured

Tags | , Funny, social, status

Posted on 21 November 2008 by admin

I really don't have to explain what a Facebook staus update is, do I? Didn't think so. One of my Facebook friends' status today read, "Dropping the kids off at the pool." If you've read this blog for any length of time, you probably know where my mind went, but it made me wonder if there was a place to find funny status updates that people could "borrow," and it turns out, there is. The status updates in this post are all from a site called The Collection of Funny Facebook Status Updates. What follows are what I consider the 20 best status updates from that site...and they welcome you to use them.

facebook.jpg (JPEG Image, 500x373 pixels)

....can see Alaska from her house.
....understands that hard work has a future payoff but Laziness pays off now.
....just wants less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
....says keep staring....I may do a trick.
....knows your jealous because the voices are talking to him and not you.
....is being spontaneous... tomorrow.
....Says touch your head. Touch your nose. NAME didn't say touch your nose.
....was reviewing your profile but couldn't turn the suck down!
....wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
....the guy who stole the frigg'n cookie from the cookie jar. Now shutup!
....secretly hoping the video he and Paris made last night is released on TMZ
....writing a paper called "Sex and Pregnancy: A Possible Connection"
....being interviewed on his new novel "Sweet and Sour Pork: How Can It Be Both? At The Same Time?"
....brought to you by the letters W T F
....with your girlfriend.
....trapped in the facebook status message textbox; send help!
....not your friend.
....not for everyone. Clinical tests show that he may cause nausea, fatigue, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if he is right for you
....known for his motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!
....master of his domain

If you liked these, and want to see more, make sure you visit The Collection of Funny Facebook Status Updates. This isn't a paid post, just something I thought you all might enjoy.

If you don't find what you're looking for there, you can also try Generatus. It generates random status updates based on your gender, and you can use tags for better results. If you've seen a great status update, list it in the comments.

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I like this one : .with your girlfriend. lol :D
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I heard that www.boundabove.com has some pretty funny stuff
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wat da hell is dis this is not funny at all second these are not niceee ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
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I love the first one statues "1. ….can see Alaska from her house." because its really unusual.
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These are so incredibly stupid. Humor like this makes me weep for the future. These aren't even clever at all, it's like Christian humor or something. LAME!
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can you give us an example of what your mates have put that is funny. if of course you have any friends
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>:( S T F U everyones all laughing and jokin and you come along a blow it all up...ya stoopid
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Its terrible to listen the HIV result for me..my lips vibrate
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forgot to take her memory pills
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Very interesting article, but I saw statistics at compete dot com. It shows that did not have grown visits last 2 months. It appears to be decreasing traffic at social networks? hope it will help
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Very Funny! Haha. Here are some funny twitter status updates http://funnytwitterstatus.blog...
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LOL, my favorite is "….understands that hard work has a future payoff but Laziness pays off now."
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ahaha...really loved the list! Good job guys!
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lol, Nice one.I liked the "...….brought to you by the letters W T F" :D.
athinabean

never leaves work early; at least not physically.
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never leaves work early; at least not physically.
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And the oddest status I have seen would have to be: "downloading farmcum: animal porn"... Just pure gross, ahhck!
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"#1 ….can see Alaska from her house." - I think I heard this one from Sarah Palin too, if she only has a Facebook account, I'm sure she'll say this proudly too.
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I never loved to use facebook. All my friends are using this and Myspace but I`d rather use hi5. I`m more used to it and it`s hard for me to work with something I don`t like. Lately I had no time for hi5 too so I consider a waste of time making an account on the other 2.
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God is part of humanity, weather real or not, but the concept is very malleable, and evolves, is not now aht it used to be for many,
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Hey there, I loved these status messages, I recently saw someone set "Humanity is the biggest religion" Now this is really very nice!

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Humanity is the biggest religion is really nice status message, it reflects that the user is very sacred soul!
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I have a facebook account as well, and I appreciate the funny status messages you posted. It's entertaining.
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Nice list.. How about looking for another place or house to start a new life? and facebook connects us to our relatives..
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lol. may I add... "getting laid."
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That would be better than to see someone's post that goes: "...playing with myself". I experienced that and it was horrible. I immediately deleted him from my friend list because of his perverse act. Ugh.
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"Reloading the batteries in my vibrator. "

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Haha, nice list. I liked the scary though
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Thanks for the great list! Here are my favorite:

-Jonk is having an excellent adventure with Bill and Ted
-Jonk is planning to be spontaneous tomorrow.
-Jonk is thinking Pandora didn’t think outside the box.
-Jonk - so poor he can’t even give you his two cents!
-Jonk always asks himself: “What would Gandalf do”?
-Jonk can increase your penis size by 30%!!!!
-Jonk hates people that take drugs… customs for example
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is.... smoking pot with johnny hopkins.(step brothers reference)
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is waiting for his HIV results ... fingers crossed ex's
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lol, HIV results is kind of scared.
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Haha, nice list. I liked the " ….trapped in the facebook status message textbox; send help!"
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Dear Pringles, Now that I am no longer a child, I can no longer fit my hand inside your tube of deliciousness. Work on that.
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Just turn the can upside down moron!!!!! Duh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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HaTeS it wHenn Kidz riTe Lyk diS. Seriously, that's the reason english is a compulsary subject.
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Even I liked the list a lot. Keep posting like this.
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i seen better lines. something like "slept for 120 hours"
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"understands that hard work has a future payoff but Laziness pays off now."

LOL!!!!!! I like this one the most, well these status updates are pretty catchy