13 Geek-y Programmer Quotables

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Categorized | Funny

Tags | coding, programmers, quotes, software engineers

13 Geek-y Programmer Quotables

Posted on 26 August 2008 by admin

An amateur built the ark and a team of engineers built the Titanic. That basically sums up why I don't trust Microsoft products.
Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Flash is a program built for and by retarded cats
"I invented it, Bill made it famous."
David Bradley (wrote the code for Ctrl-Alt-Delete on the IBM PC)
"Coding styles are like assholes, everyone has one and no one likes anyone elses."
Eric Warmenhoven
"Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it."
Brian W. Kernighan
"Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing."
Dick Brandon
"Memory is like an orgasm. It's a lot better if you don't have to fake it."
Seymore Cray (on virtual memory)
"Software Engineering is that part of Computer Science which is too difficult for the Computer Scientist."
F. L. Bauer
"The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents."
Nathaniel Borenstein
"The ultimate metric that I would like to propose for user friendliness is quite simple: if this system was a person, how long would it take before you punched it in the nose?"
Tom Carey
"Writing in C or C++ is like running a chain saw with all the safety guards removed."
Bob Gray

Other funny programming quotes and thoughts

Funny programming Tshirts

Related Lists:

Top 10 newspaper headlines from “American Dad!”

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documentation part is funny.
thanks..
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Wow these are really nice quotes. Thanks for sharing!
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Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.” - I have to agree with this one...lol
ThurstanRex

Every particular domain of work has it's own jokes. Programmer jokes are a bit hard to get for the non initiates. I wonder what kind of jokes would make someone that works at a sex shop. I bet they're not software related.
Online Sex Shop

Documentation is like sex when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.
catalin_adrian

"Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows. "
This is so true. I am very curious how Windows 7 will perform in time.
Hotel Consultants

This is really interesting. Didn't know there's so much knowledge into all these.
Ent Doctor

I agree, memory is like orgasm. Too many people are faking their intelligence just like the beauty pageants. Why can't they just be a Hooters girl?
varicose

Interesting quotes but I am skeptical of things that end in 13. C++ is dead.
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Failure is not an option but is highly likely ! "failure is not an option" has got to be my favorite also.
Angular Cheilitis Cure

Just tell me if you add this quotes. Thanks, it's Great... hahaha.
Sex-toys-Dildos

There are some classic quotes! great reading
Dirt

Great Quotes:)
Diet Blog

There are some classic quotes! I had to try VERY HARD not to laugh and disturb the office.
justacoder

First there was the primordial ooze. Then there was the keyboard. Then the mouse. Then Windows. Now it is back to the primordial ooze.

Replace Windows with J2EE. Or C++. It still works.
areacode

good article but have you ever considered adding more videos to your blog posts to keep the readers more entertained?
sex_toys

Here are my favorite quotes:
-There are 10 kinds of people in this world....Those who understand binary and those who don't.
-The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
-Any fool can use a computer. Many do.
Ben

"Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows. " It sure does. :)
Hope windows 7 will be better.
HotelBooker

These are very geeky quotes :)
Peter

Really very much interesting article. Thanks for the information
Sindrome do Panico

Failure is not an option but is highly likely ! "failure is not an option" has got to be my favorite.
Espinhas

That list is hilarious. LOL
Dermatologista

great list
Psicologa

the best is: Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows
Cirurgia Plastica

i like this:
“Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.”
Georgia

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Yeah well, I came across yours and had to write to tell you I enjoyed it very much. I gave it the thumbs up, so more people can come across it and enjoy it also.
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"Debugging is twice as hard as writing a code".. Though things are difficult but not impossible... If you are too clever to write a code than you can debug the errors as well very efficiently...
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Failure is not an option but is highly likely ! "failure is not an option" has got to be my favorite.
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Cool.. nice quotes and i love this one “Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.” lol
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thanks..it brought a smile to my face..
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Point number 10 makes those who studied Computer Science looks bad.
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i found this funny. the second point.
# Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows.
Back Pain

One thing I agree on is quote 6. No one programmer codes the same. Most have really bad habits.
Fashion Shop

There are many cases where one invented it and the other made it famous. Programmers are by default a creature with technical expertises. This is why they need business-minded people to bring their products to the next level.
Knee Pain

I think guys all thinks like that.
Seo Singapore

Good quotes. Really made my day.

Let me share mine.

How do you tell an extrovert engineer from an introvert? An extrovert engineer will look at your shoes when he talks to you.
Singapore Hotel

I remember the previous IBM Chief Executive used to said in the 60s that the world only had space for 4 computers. He was referring to main frames. How wrong was he. Just heard IBM might be retrenching soon.
Online Cricket Games

Wonderful quotes from Calamity Jane.

This is my personal favorite.
# “Memory is like an orgasm. It’s a lot better if you don’t have to fake it.”
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documentation part is funny. bad sex is better than nothing
Mike

Haha, totally great quote mate
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This is not bad either.

“Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.”
Aloe Vera

There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who do not
John Lewis

"Some of the things that we ask software developers to do are equivalent to asking a metallurgist to build a motor car", Bob Bridges
John Lewis

"There are two types of programmers in the world: those who believe it is possible to write a program which works first time and those who don't" Scott W Sloan
Tim O'Reilly

"if carpenters built buildings the way programmers write programs, a single woodpecker could come along and destroy all of civilization." (unattributed usenet signature quote)